The Hawkers' Complete Trip

Here is the whole story, from start to finish.  If you want to look up any earlier blog, just click on the relevant line.

THE PREPARATION

Friday 13 August - What have we forgotten?
Monday 16 August – The Plan
Monday 16 August – 3,464 miles in 4 weeks
Wednesday 18 August – Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Friday 20 August – Who is guarding the base camp?
Saturday 21 August – The Right Hand side of the U.S.A (The East)

SAN FRANCISCO AND THE DRIVING PART

Tuesday 24 August – We have arrived
Tuesday 24 August – We have a U.S. Mobile Phone
Thursday 26 August – Cycling over the Golden Gate BridgeFriday 27 August - Now we are motoring
Tuesday 31 August – Our Beast of Burden
Thursday 2 September – Newport, then driving to Yellowstone
Saturday 4 September - Bison takes drunk driving testTuesday 7 September – We have left Yellowstone Park
Friday 10 September – Strange Motoring CustomsSaturday 11 September - Zion National Park and Bryce Canyon
Tuesday 14 September – Grand Canyon
Friday 17 September – What have the Hawkers been eating?
Saturday 18 September – From Grand Canyon to the Rocky Mountains
Monday 20 September - Hiking in the Rocky MountainsWednesday 22 September – Custer Park, Crazy Horse and Mount Rushmore

THE DRIVING IS OVER

Friday 24 September – The Driving is over – “Hard Rain is gonna fall”
Sunday 26 September – American Football
Tuesday 28 September - Minneapolis
Saturday 2 October - Lake Superior (Gitchee Gummi)
Tuesday 5 October - Minneapolis Revisited
Friday 8 October - Baseball
Sunday 10 October - Sailing in Minneapolis

ON TO THE EAST COAST

Tuesday 12 October - Tips for Travellers
Thursday 14 October - Rain does not Stop Play
Monday 18 October - Last Days in Washington
Wednesday 20 October - Planning for the Homecoming
Saturday 23 October - Boston and Unpaid Taxes
Tuesday 26 October - English Burn Down Towns
Wednesday 27 October - Lost in the Big Apple - Geography Lesson
Friday 29 October - We are at Kennedy Airport
Monday 1 November - Epilogue (some Statistics)

Some Statistics (Epilogue)

We are now back in Zurich, and it is all over. Phew. We are going to need at least a week to recover. We also have to readapt to the fact that Americanish is not the spoken language in Zurich, that the temperature is measured is Centigrade, not Fahrenheit, distance is in Kilometres and that the 24 hour clock is used to tell the time.

But most important, it is time for some statistics about this epic journey. After all, as an Operations Manager and a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt, I need facts and data. If you do not know what a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt is, don’t worry. It is nothing to do with physical violence. Just be impressed. Here goes:

- We have been away for 67 days
- Had 3 days without alcohol
- Have driven over 6,000 miles
- Flew internally twice, nearly 1,500 miles
- Had only five days when it rained
- Stayed in sixteen hotels / motels
- Stayed with seven sets of old and new friends
- Had only two full cooked breakfasts
- Had one haircut each
- Visited 20 States. Charlie Dwyer says that I can include Rhode Island, where I intended to step out of the train on to the platform for 5 seconds, but bottled out in case the train left without me (and anyway, it was raining). Charlie said that we could not include Illinois, as we only touched down in Chicago, and stayed in the plane. I have cheated to get to 20.
- Can name the Capital Cities of each of these 20 States, or at least I could do this 3 days ago.
- Used $150 worth of value out of our National Park Service card, which cost $80 (Highly recommended)
- Had one text incoming message replicated 31 times (Fault was at the U.S. end, in case the person in question is worried)
- Learned large amounts about U.S. History and the Constitution, most of which I will have forgotten in six months, if not before
- Took 2,700 pictures
- Had tomato juice poured over me once (for which Swiss (Airline) did not give me a free upgrade to Business Class as compensation or answer my counter-proposal for compensation).
- Returned with 57 kg (125 lbs / 9 stone) of checked-in baggage.
- Put on 5lbs (2 kg) weight during the trip, depending on which set of scales are used. (Definite measurement problem here, as we Black Belts say)
- Never supported the winning side on either occasion when we watched them. (We are Ipswich Town Football Club supporters, so what do you expect)
- Wrote 38 entries on the Hawker U.S. trip blog, including this one.
- Spent not many Swiss Francs on the whole trip, and returned with $27.80 in cash.

We are at Kennedy Airport

Thursday Evening (28 October)

We are at Kennedy Airport, as I type this. We have a couple of hours wait, as true to the Swiss Family Hawker habits, we have arrived early. We left Natalie and Wayne’s (in Upper West Side) at 4.10 p.m. and took just over one hour to get to the airport. I am told that as it gets to 5.00 pm and 6.00 pm, the traffic gets worse. Hardly seems possible. We were at the airport even earlier than I had expected. The plane’s scheduled departure time is 8.55 pm and not 7.55 pm, as I had thought. (“Why is there no one else at this departure gate, yet?”)

By the time that this blog is published, we shall be back in Zurich. However, at the time of writing this, I have no idea when that will be, as our modem and router were put out of action, when our Thalwil electricity decided to show its sorrow at our temporary absence, by sending a surge through the apartment, thus fusing or destroying various pieces of electrical equipment. As Captain Kirk said, having been hit by a Klingon missile “Damage Report!”.

Enough moaning. We have had a great time. Thank you Natalie and Wayne for putting us up in Upper West Side.

We now need to plan our re-entry back into real life. If the re-entry is too shallow, we shoot off into outer space, never to be seen again and too steep, we burn up in the thick atmosphere of Thalwil. So the plan is to take it easy. Really easy!! As you know, taking it easy is not exactly a core competence of the Hawkers. (Perhaps “Decompression is a better methaphor”)

In thinking back over the blogs, I realise that I have left so much out. For New York alone, I could fill three more Blogs, full of places which Natalie and Wayne pointed out to us. I know that you all eagerly awaiting the full details. In this case, there is only one thing for us. I shall organise a six hour slide and video show (plus Pauses for ice cream). Don’t be too impatient for this exciting event. I have to organise all my slides, and you know that this will take some weeks. (“Take your time; we wouldn’t you to miss anything”, I hear my dad say).

Don’t worry if you are overseas. Jim Ellerbee tells me that it is possible to organise conference calls, with video over Skype, so there is no excuse for not joining in. And for those of you who miss it first time around, I could record it and put it on YouTube.

I will keep you updated on this exciting event. Don’t book anything for the next five weeks.

(p.s. back on real time, we are online again. Normal service to be resumed)

Lost in the Big Apple - Geography Lesson

We are leaving tomorrow evening. I do not think that Swiss Airlines will let me to update my blog in-flight and I probably will not have time anyway. Get to my seat, shut my eyes and try to get some sleep before the plane touches down in Zurich at 5.00 am body time.

We are really getting the hang of the New York geography. We are saying with Natalie and Wayne Fisher, in "Upper West Side", whom we knew from their time in Zurich. Tomorrow morning we are going "Down-Town" for a trip to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. Today, we visited the United Nations building at "East 46th Street", before catching a bus to the Metropolitan Museum of Art near "East 81st Street". Last night, we went to Carnegie Hall ("57th Street, 7th Avenue")to see Andras Schiff perform Schumann.

Yesterday, we visited Ground Zero, which at the moment is a huge building site. However, we were able to see the plans for the new site, including the plans for the memorial ponds, which are due to be opened September next year.

On Monday, we visited the New York Municipal Library on 42nd Street, (this is Mid-Town, very near to Grand Central Station. Not any old station, this one. Liverpool Street Station - eat your heart out.

I have visited the offices of Deutsche Bank in Park Avenue, and then New Jersey City to see my old colleagues, Lino and Charlie and in so doing, experienced the delights of the Path Line.

I have just got back from a 3 mile round in Central Park, as the first stage of my "Get Fit and Lose Weight" Regime.

So how is your geography knowledge of New York coming now? Everything clear? Personally, I find the random layout of Central London easier to follow, but that is coming from someone, who finds the rules of cricket intuitive.

English Burn Down Towns

We left Boston on Thursday afternoon (17 October). Mode of transport was AMTRAK, the main U.S. railway service. It was scheduled as a three hour journey to Stamford, Connecticut, but took three and a half. Our hosts, Dawn and Jim Del Greco, who were waiting for us, were not particularly surprised. We are not in Switzerland.

Hazel knew Jim from her volunteer days in Sierra Leone days a long, long time ago. Much reminiscing about who was where and what has happened to so and so, and do you remember when.......

We spent three great days with them in Norwalk, Connecticut. Plenty of local history and geography lessons. In fact, on the Friday evening, we attended a silent Auction (Hands up, those who do not know what this is – like me, for instance) for the Norwalk Historical Society. Plenty of time to eat, drink and socialise and be reminded of how the English in 1779 burnt down the entire town in the revolutionary war. Well, what does one say, except “Sorry. I think that it must all have been a big misunderstanding” or “Of course. That is what we did best”.

They also discussed the preservation order recently placed on a building that the English did not burn down. Definitely room for improvement in the “Burning Towns” department.



On Saturday, we walked along the waterfront. The Atlantic Ocean (shouldn’t it be the “English Ocean” to go with the English Channel?) is actually 100 miles away, as the Long Island sound stretches all this way. It all looks so small on the map – about 3 cms or so.

A quick drive took us to a second hand book sale at the local library – yes – we are seeing how close we can get to our luggage allowance of 37kg per person – and then to a food market the size of Heathrow airport, to buy some lunch and head down to the sea front. There were so many food samples in the market, that it was almost unnecessary to buy any food, except that by the time you have made one tour, it is time for the next meal.

Saturday evening – a quick look at the internet to confirm that Ipswich Town Football club have lost yet again and it is time to go to a ..........Silent Auction. Is this all that the folks of Norwalk, Connecticut do? Well, possibly yes, but I have decided that it is a very good idea and one that should be adopted more generally. This second silent Auction was held for the benefit of a Norwalk church, followed by a 75 minutes “Night Music” cabaret, by members of the Church Choir. But this was not any old choir and this was not any old Cabaret. The quality was amazing, with the tenor giving a rendition of “Nessum Dorma”, made famous by Pavarotti and many others, to a standing ovation.


Sunday morning was time to take in some American Culture, by reading a book by Scott Fitzgerald (be impressed) and then for a drive into the Connecticut countryside to visit Jim’s mum, whom Hazel met 32 years ago. Then on to Charlie (Dawn’s brother) and his Haflinger horses, followed by a drive through some other villages that the English completely or partially burnt down and back for a Chinese takeaway.

Monday morning saw us once again on our travels. Jim and Dawn took us to the station, to give Amtrak an opportunity to redeem themselves, as we then travelled to Grand Central Station, New York City, for the last leg of our U.S. Tour.

Many thanks, Dawn and Jim for looking after us so well. On behalf of the English viewers of this blog, we are real sorry that we burned your town down.

Boston and unpaid Taxes

We left Boston on Thursday (21 October), having arrived on the previous Sunday morning. It was raining for a change, as we left. Not very hard, I must admit and we should not complain. It hardly seems fair on the poor farmers of America, as they need some rain once in a while, I guess.

Back to the plot. Boston, as you all well know, was a hotbed of insurrection against the British Crown. King George III, to be precise. Most of the memorials and statues from the Freedom Trail onwards, describe how the American people freed themselves from their earlier masters. They were all very nice to us, though, but I have reminded them that they owe a large amount of back taxes, with interest. We can take a vote on whether to give them an amnesty on penalties.


You have guessed by now that we walked the Freedom trail. Actually we walked parts of it twice; once on our own and then again on a guided tour, just so we could be reminded how we English started the shooting against the freedom loving people of Massachusetts.

The National Park Service does a great job at its museum in describing the Battle of Bunker Hill (1775). (Technically the English won, but only at the cost of nearly half of their forces. Very careless).

On Wednesday, we visited Salem, the town where 19 women were hanged, in 1692, accused of being witches. Although there is a serious side, concerning intolerance, prejudice and miscarriage of justice, the town of Salem has turned into a collection of cheap witch memorabilia, and ghost tours, heightened further at the this time of year, by the approaching Halloween. The town itself however, is very attractive.


In between times, we met up with Aaron Ellerbee for lunch, the son of a very good colleague of mine, Jim, from our respective Credit Suisse days. (No photos unfortunately – negligent of me). We also had a guided tour of Harvard, given by an undergraduate. This very slight student, Eddie, had a voice that could sink ships from 600 yards. Just what you need with a large partly of inattentive tourists.


Those of you following the English news will know that Liverpool Football Club have just been bought by the owner of the BOSTON Red Sox. (Hands up, those of you knew that the Red Sox are from Boston. Minus 10 points to all of you for lying, except for Richard Carver who probably really does know this). It was therefore our duty to make a due diligence visit to the ground of the Red Sox, to see whether John Henry is “fit and proper” (as we financial types say) to own such a historic English Institution. (Please. No comments or discussion about whether Liverpool is a “singular” noun or whether “historic” should be preceded by “an”. Usual rules apply here. In all cases of dispute, I am right – very simple). We were told that John Henry is in England at the moment, so he was unable to take any questions personally.


Wednesday night was the last day in a hotel for this U.S. trip. 15 points for guessing how many hotels / motels we have stayed in on this trip? Our room in this (slightly out of) Boston hotel was definitely one of the best that we have had.

p.s. Answer to question in an earlier Blog. The statue in the photo is of Arthur Haley, the writer of Roots, which I have not read (nor seen when it was televised), but which I believe describes the passage of his forefathers to the U.S. as slaves and their subsequent fight for freedom to the present time. Annapolis was one of the staging posts for slaves in the former centuries.

Planning for the Homecoming

We have been reminded of home. We have seen the sign for the Ipswich National Bank. Now I know that there is an Ipswich Town Building Society, but a National Bank, with a branch in Boston. Well, who would have believed it? Almost makes you homesick.


Talking of which, in about one week’s time, we shall be returning home. Mark Hookey tells me that I shouldn’t start to think about this, until we get there – “YOU’RE ON HOLIDAY”, he says. He’s right, of course, but I can’t help it. I automatically start making lists of things that will need to be done.

Firstly, there is the diet. I haven’t quite reached the 200 lbs (just over 14 stone), that I was expecting, but at least one blog observer has asked whether there are signs of “...putting on a bit of weight, are we?”. So now, you can call me “Fatty Hawker”. It’s a fat free, no-alcohol and a daily work out regime for me. Just don’t ask me in 6 weeks time, how the new regime is getting on.

Then there are a couple of pieces of domestic infrastructure that need fixing. While we have been away, our electrics have gone haywire and water has come up through our cellar. Notice our impeccable sense of timing here. Hawkers out; Richard Reincke in; House Kaputt.

The tyres on the car need to be changed to Winter Wheels. I tried to make a 30 October appointment before I left, but BMW’s winter computer was not up and running. Fortunately, when it was, they let me know. So early Saturday morning (30th), it will be down to the garage.

Christmas is coming and it is never too early to start panicking about Christmas. Christmas card lists to do. Begging letters to send out and subtle hints to drop. No – never too early.

Then there are matters of Gadgets. I will need a new Mobile Phone. What about mini computerised books that have become all the rage. A whole generation of computers and miniaturisation has come and gone while we have been here, idling away, learning about U.S. history and culture. Will I need an iPhone, iPhone touch, iPad (and if so, what version), iPod, twitter, kimble, crabapple, iMAX. I will have to update my Garmin GPS to Europe maps (but only if the modem in my apartment is fixed).........Help. I might just stick to my pay as you go mobile phone (With this, I can make and receive telephone calls – that’s all – Cool or what).

Then there will be Grumpy’s blog to revive. Of course, it will have to be renamed and rebranded “Fatty Grumpy”. I am feeling better already.


As a “p.s.”, here is the sign on our motel’s lift. No Jumping. Makes you worried, doesn’t it.