Planning for the Homecoming

We have been reminded of home. We have seen the sign for the Ipswich National Bank. Now I know that there is an Ipswich Town Building Society, but a National Bank, with a branch in Boston. Well, who would have believed it? Almost makes you homesick.


Talking of which, in about one week’s time, we shall be returning home. Mark Hookey tells me that I shouldn’t start to think about this, until we get there – “YOU’RE ON HOLIDAY”, he says. He’s right, of course, but I can’t help it. I automatically start making lists of things that will need to be done.

Firstly, there is the diet. I haven’t quite reached the 200 lbs (just over 14 stone), that I was expecting, but at least one blog observer has asked whether there are signs of “...putting on a bit of weight, are we?”. So now, you can call me “Fatty Hawker”. It’s a fat free, no-alcohol and a daily work out regime for me. Just don’t ask me in 6 weeks time, how the new regime is getting on.

Then there are a couple of pieces of domestic infrastructure that need fixing. While we have been away, our electrics have gone haywire and water has come up through our cellar. Notice our impeccable sense of timing here. Hawkers out; Richard Reincke in; House Kaputt.

The tyres on the car need to be changed to Winter Wheels. I tried to make a 30 October appointment before I left, but BMW’s winter computer was not up and running. Fortunately, when it was, they let me know. So early Saturday morning (30th), it will be down to the garage.

Christmas is coming and it is never too early to start panicking about Christmas. Christmas card lists to do. Begging letters to send out and subtle hints to drop. No – never too early.

Then there are matters of Gadgets. I will need a new Mobile Phone. What about mini computerised books that have become all the rage. A whole generation of computers and miniaturisation has come and gone while we have been here, idling away, learning about U.S. history and culture. Will I need an iPhone, iPhone touch, iPad (and if so, what version), iPod, twitter, kimble, crabapple, iMAX. I will have to update my Garmin GPS to Europe maps (but only if the modem in my apartment is fixed).........Help. I might just stick to my pay as you go mobile phone (With this, I can make and receive telephone calls – that’s all – Cool or what).

Then there will be Grumpy’s blog to revive. Of course, it will have to be renamed and rebranded “Fatty Grumpy”. I am feeling better already.


As a “p.s.”, here is the sign on our motel’s lift. No Jumping. Makes you worried, doesn’t it.